carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
