I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
