My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
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