I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize
