Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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