Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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