Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
