Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Randomize
