I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize