I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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