my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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