p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
