Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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