When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
