Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
