May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
