I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Randomize
