woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
