sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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