nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
