just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I just want nice things and good sex
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
