i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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