Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize