new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
No stitches, just platelets and will power
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
