Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I yelled at your uterus for you.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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