the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
