ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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