when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
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