U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
how drunk are you?
Several
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
