hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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