so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
