I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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