U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize