Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize