The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
