He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
