wakey wakey hands off snakey
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
