If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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