so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
