"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize