She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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