Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
