I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
