I am spending my child support on dildos
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
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