i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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