i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
