Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Sorry my hands just texted you
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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