JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
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