i just wanna soil my oats bro
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
The feeling are messing with the penis
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
