why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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