Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Randomize
