he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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