O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
