He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
If I die, sorry about rent.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
