Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
In America we eat man semen.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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