do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
