Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
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