Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
