I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
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