Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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