well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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