hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
