After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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