The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
two words: eviction party
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize
