I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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