There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
