The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
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