you turned your livingroom into a bong?
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
