32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Randomize
