there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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