Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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