the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize