my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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