i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
