i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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