Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize
