Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
