these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
