i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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